When was the last time you were so pleasantly surprised with a meal you had to try one more dish AFTER dessert?  This is that kind of place.  When the food is so tasty and they cook it so fast that your stomach doesn’t have time to tell your brain you’re full, it opens the door to that sort of excess.

And with the kitchen in the front and seating in the back, there’s no service section to bypass on your way to the room we’re all here to talk about.

Design – 7 Ngam bills itself as modern comfort food from Thailand.  I cannot disagree.  In the bathroom design they’ve done the “modern” with white paint on the walls and brick, and a square Ikea mirror.  The flowers and the peachy colored candle give it a colorful kick over the bed of white rice that is the walls.  I’m undecided if the faux metal tiles are meant to be “modern” or “comfort”.

Cleanliness – 10 One of the cleanest I’ve ever been to, and the suit wearing manager stepped in multiple times to check on it.

Layout – 9 Basic one person handicapped stall.

Extra Credit – 9 The most fragrant, in a good way, bathroom on this blog so far.

99 3rd Ave, New York, NY 10003

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It’s been a while since my last post.  Work has kept me busy and distracted.  And now for a distraction from that…What better place to find distractions than Ikea?  I was there last week to pick up a shelf for my office.  I arrived at 9, when only the cafeteria is open, and after sipping on some tasty free coffee and flipping through the pages of the catalog, I made my way to the bathroom.

Design – 4 It seems there are parallels between Ikea and Starbucks (see previous post) when it comes to the relationship of their image and their bathrooms.  In spite of Ikea being known for their particular design aesthetic, it all goes out the window once you traverse that extra long corridor and push through the swinging doors.  On a long shopping day you could get confused and think you were in the TJ Maxx bathroom instead.

Cleanliness – 8 Again, at the start of the business day, all was fairly clean, though some corners were suspect.

Layout – 6 Expansive, but didn’t seem to take full advantage of it.  Men’s rooms never have perks.

Extra Credit – 9 Baby jump seat in the handicapped stall.  Instill crippling images into your child’s brain as they watch you on the bowl.

100 Ikea Drive
Paramus, NJ 07652

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Do you like your drip coffee individually brewed?  Do you like to choose your coffee based on wine-like descriptions? Do you like to go to the bathroom after drinking your cup of El Salvadorian brew with hints of melon and berries?

Design – 2 Surprisingly none, since the front of house has enough personality.  The shabby chic table gives you something to put the key on, but that and the cabinet-doors-as-mirrors isn’t enough to overcome the trailer-ness of the space.  And yes you need a key to go to a high end coffee shop in Ridgewood, NJ.  Don’t ask me why.

Cleanliness – 5 Dingy but not disgusting.  Thanks to the key.

Layout – 7  Really wheelchair accessible, not just a tiny cramped room with a handrail.

Extra Credit – 10 If you are unhappy with the design of this bathroom but you answered yes to all three questions above, you can purchase this shop for $299,000 and renovate the place to your liking.

90 East Ridgewood Ave, Ridgewood, NJ 07450

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Recipe is my kind of restaurant.  Intimate space, a menu that I’d want to go through from beginning to end, and all the promise of a well designed, interesting bathroom experience.

Let’s get to it then.

Design – 9 Slide the door open, lock it behind you, and do your thing.  Easy enough, until its time to wash your hands.  What you may think is the faucet is actually just the soap holder.  If you are familiar with science labs then perhaps you don’t need to check the instructions on the wall – its an eye wash sink.  Too bad the water hardly dribbles out of the faucet.  I ended up essentially rubbing my hands against it to get the soap off.

Cleanliness – 8 I guess everyone here knows how to use the sink.

Layout – 7 Tiny and tight but not awkward.  The lab sink and mounted soap are used very well to make the most of a tiny space.

Extra Credit – 8 Maintaining the discreet Bunsen burner rustic aesthetic without being geeky about it.

452 Amsterdam Ave New York, NY 10024

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Yes that Acropolis.  And no this is not a 5th Century relic.  What it is, is an underground restroom for tourists behind the Parthenon.  My most recent visit was the perfect day to hike up here, cloudy cool and breezy – in July no less.  But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t need a pit stop.  Well I didn’t but once I saw the sign, I saw the sign.

Design – 5  The best part of this design is putting it underground.  In fact it’s likely the only acceptable option.  How would you feel about a WC kiosk with cigarette and snacks available next to the Sanctuary of Zeus Polieus?

Cleanliness – 4 Perhaps in part to its subterranean nature, call it dank.

Layout – 6 Made for the masses, at least the sinks.  Urinals are uncomfortably close and the door is always open.

Extra Credit – 10 Step outside and walk the grounds of the Acropolis.  Check out the ladies at the Porch of the Caryatids.  Look out over Athens, walk down and get on a ferry for the islands already.

Acropolis Athens Greece

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I’ve been to Santorini before, I keep missing the sunsets.  Maybe if I caught it once I’d see what the fuss is all about.  In any case, it’s a dream just to be there.  Starting the day with a frappe on the balcony of a cliff at the Hotel Galant is a blood pressure dropping pleasure.  And going to their bathroom is a surprising treat.

Design – 8 Due to the terrain, this bathroom is literally carved into the side of the cliff.  Colors are the traditional blue/white of Greece which at least to me doesn’t get old.  Maybe those who live there feel differently.  I always prefer the deeper blues like the one we see on the floor here.

Cleanliness – 8  Very clean.

Layout – 6 Its a tight tube, with one of those super shallow sinks.  Since its a one person bathroom, plenty of room to do your thing.  Not handicapped accessible but neither is much of the island.

Extra Credit – 7 Not only is there a little basket with maxi pads, there’s a custom ceramic sign instructing you not to throw them in the toilet.  Matching sign showing a romanticized view of the bathroom is on the outside door.

Firostefani Santorini, Greece

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Maybe if I lived in the UK I’d know that Servisair stands for crap.  Maybe its because all shared airline and US airline lounges tend to be giant wastes of money.  Maybe then  I wouldn’t be so disappointed with this bathroom.

Design – 2 No continuity between lounge and bathroom.  You go through a service door entrance to get here, useless and weird “dividers” between urinals, ubiquitous European vessel sink vanity can’t save this from looking drab and dumpy.

Cleanliness – 3 “Imperial Leather” discount soap bottles at the sinks remind you that you can be clean and frugal at the same time.  They can’t hide the fact that this bathroom smells like bad Chinese food.

Layout – 2 I appreciate some separation between lounge and bathroom but the execution isn’t pretty.

Extra Credit – 5 A strangely mounted flush lever for the toilets on the tile wall.  Free booze and stomachache inducing snacks in the other room.

Heathrow Airport

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If you’ve been to Greece you know that the best souvlaki you can have in the US tastes like cardboard compared to the average one in their motherland.  On my recent trip to Greece it’s all I wanted to eat, all the time.  The high point was a trip to Derlicious in Kolonaki, a fashionable district in Athens.  Tucked away in a pedestrian street lined with high end shops and the beautiful women who love them, this is the place to be.

Design – 3 Not living up to the standards of the neighborhood, in other words, “unassuming”.  They don’t assume you care because the food is good and the location is prime.

Cleanliness – 2 I would have hoped for a higher score here but as you can see from the photos, it ain’t that way.

Layout – 3 Climb up the metal stair at the back of the shop, pass the garbage bag and case of tomatoes, and make a left into the bathroom/mop storage.

Extra Credit – 9 Enjoying a dirt cheap and tasty meal outside next to Greek goddesses who are pigging out on the stuff as much as you are.

Tsakalof 14,  Athens, Greece

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Showing off your expensive designer gear is a sport in Greece, and Attica is as good a place to pick up some as any other.  But eventually that one euro souvalki will catch up with you and you’ll need to find a bathroom.  And that is where the high end pretense ends.

Life is full of decisions.  Should I go this way or that?  Should I stay or should I go?  Should I use the stall with no light or the one with a full turd halfway out of the bowl?

Design – 3  Why are you showing us this underexposed photo of nothing you ask?  I chose darkness. Trust me though, you are not missing anything.

Cleanliness – 0 If you were paying attention you’d know.

Layout – 3  Two regular stalls and a counter with two sinks.

Extra Credit – -10 Need I explain further?

Πανεπιστημίου 9, Αθήνα

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