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Frank Lloyd Wright, great architect of the 20th century, designed the beautiful Guggenheim Museum in New York, a master of space and light, you’d think it would carry over into a nice bathroom.  Not even close.  As you traverse up the ramp, on every level there is a tiny bathroom tucked in with a column, accessible right from the ramp.  Take a step from the glorious open space, turn the golden handle on the bathroom door and poof – you are in another world.  A cramped, awkward, ugly, dingy world.  Wright was known for making hallways tight and small to accentuate the spaces they lead to, was that what he was thinking here?  The only reason bathrooms exist on the ramps is he must have been forced to spread them around and didn’t want to waste gallery space. Otherwise they’d all be in the basement.

Design – 0 That’s right.  I’m giving FLW a big fat zero on the bathroom design.  It sucks worse than Starbucks.  Am I at the Guggenheim Museum or the night watchman’s basement bathroom at a wire hanger factory?

Cleanliness - 4 Not so neat.

Layout – 2 Awful.  There’s a column right in front of the toilet.

Extra Credit – 10 Peeing in the junkspace of an architectural masterpiece.

1071 5th Ave, New York, NY

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My brother Gabriel and I were road tripping from Chicago to New Jersey.  When we saw signs for roadside burger places we’ve never seen before, we knew we had to check it out.  At least I did, and made him come check it out too.  We had two options, Culvers and something that sounded like Shake and Bake…or Shake Steak…something with shake or steak.  Culvers has shakes too, but we were drawn to Butterburgers, just what you need to power 800 miles of sitting.  Off US Highway 6, behind the Walmart, in the middle of a strip mall parking lot, stood Culvers, where having curly black hair makes you look foreign enough that children will stare at you in wonder.

And they have a bathroom.  Gab-o previewed it for me and deemed it bathroom blog worthy so here it goes.

Design – 6 Basic white and blue, matching the colors of the restaurant.  The floor tiles were just weird though.

Cleanlines - 8 For where it is, much cleaner than I expected.  Although I guess its far enough away from I-80 that it’s not a trucker stop.

Layout – 5 This is where things get strange.  Halft the bathroom is taken up in a big blue wall, which you may notice is actually a blue partition to a XXXL handicapped stall. I could’ve fit some more terlits in there for sure.

Extra Credit – 8 Incense sticks, poupurri, and flowers (fake? I don’t remember) at the sink.  Because after those butterburgers and shakes, you’re gonna need all the freshness you can get.

Off country road 6 Next to the Walmart behind the Radioshack.

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Earwax was my first taste of Chicago.  What?

It was my first brunch in Chicago.  I got off the train from the airport and met my friend Naomi at this spot.  We both had a Mexican breakfast plate that was delicious but I can’t remember the name.  And they poured lots of coffee and didn’t mind that we spent a good two or three hours there.  The Earwax Cafe has old timey circus paintings throughout, and even one of those paintings where there’s a hole for your head.  Is there a name for those things?  It was the second one I stuck my head in that week.

Down to business.  The bathroom was not circus style, but memorable nonetheless.  Its a basic one person but with a milky transparent plexiglass door and black and silver walls that scream for graffiti.  And every inch is covered, except the toilet, which Mr. Handrail Graffit-ist commented on in less than perfect english.

Design – 7 It serves its purpose.  A minimal, cheap, place to sharpie up walls and use the toilet.

Cleanliness - 7 Graffiti and cleanliness usually don’t go together but it was decent.

Layout – 7 Roomy but like many one person bathrooms, excessively so.  I probably wouldn’t feel this way if I was in a wheelchair though.

Extra Credit – 8 Ketchup squirter used as a soap dispenser.  I love it.  It was also my first encounter with the Chicago hand washing sign.  Instead of a typical “employees mush wash hands” sign they have a detailed, step by step poster with visuals.

1561 N Milwaukee Ave
Chicago, IL 60622-2009

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